Professional Idiots
by gokartmozart
Summary: Team 7 goes on an undercover mission as college students, but things don't go according to plan. Kakashi x Sakura Spy!AU
1. Chapter 1

The train car shook rhythmically, giving everything a slight sway. Among the train's rattling, Naruto's snores were heard. And that was the reason Sakura was still up.

She sat on a bench by the window, her head in her hand. The moonlight came through the opening and illuminated the documents in her lap. She looked down at her team's files and proceeded to read.

The top file was Naruto's. Sakura knew most of her best friend's file by heart, so she only skimmed it. _Combat specialist, excells at hand to hand encounters, great stamina, terrible shot. History of outbursts, not recommended for high profile espionage. Better in a team enironment, or protective missions._ Stapled to the top of the page was his ID photo. Messy blonde hair sat on top of a tanned, beaming face. His warm personality showed through the photo, making Sakura smile.

The next file was Sai's. He was the newest addition to Team 7, placed after Sasuke went rogue a few year back. Sai had been taken from the Root program, which no one had even heard of before. It was impressive to have such a huge branch hidden from the spy network's common knowledge. _Excells at information gathering, solo missions, and long-range encounters._ He had a sniper rifle hidden in an instrument bag above their heads. If it wasn't for Sai, Naruto would've been compromised more times than Sakura could count, and for that she was eternally grateful.

Sai was the most qualified agent of their age- on paper. But he had his shortcomings. One-on-one interactions were awkward and he made clients uncomfortable. This showed on Sai's ID photo, his expression blank. He had a pale face that was framed by his center-parted, dark brown hair. His eyes were blank, a sign of his "special" training for Root. But he had gotten better in the years since he'd been transferred to Team 7. He had relaxed, and his manner of speaking was less formal (to Naruto and Sakura's relief).

The third file was Sakura's own. She only glanced over it, not really needing to read it. _Skilled medic, versatile in both fighting and information gathering, works well in a team._ Sakura frowned at one line: ' _too hot-headed for a team leadership position_ '. She had gotten into an argument with Tsunade over that one. Naruto had had a black eye for a week after he agreed with their commander, only proving Tsunade's point. At the top of the file, Sakura's face smiled up at her with her short pink hair pulled up into a stumpy ponytail.

The last personal file (and by far the largest) was Kakashi's. He was their permanent team supervisor, and had more experience than all of them combined- at only 33. The previous mission reports took up over half of the file, which was impressive because his reports were notoriously short. His skills and experience covered everything Sakura could think of. If it was in the training program, Kakashi was a master at it. He had been Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke's assigned teacher at the academy, and had trained them from ages 12-16. Sakura and Naruto hadn't seen him much after that. He went back to S-rated missions, which they didn't qualify for (until now).

This was their first mission altogether in years. It was a simple enough mission- Sakura, Naruto, and Sai were all posing as college students going on an extended field trip with their teacher. Of course this was a cover for their real mission which was to scout out a foreign government building and retrieve some important documents from within. All without the foreign government suspecting or else there might be a war breaking out between their two countries. Simple stuff.

Ino's team was on standby if they needed backup, but Kakashi had assured Tsunade that it wouldn't be necessary (much to Sakura's satisfaction).

At the thought of her teacher, Sakura looked back at his file. The ID photo showed his spiky grey hair, intense charcoal eyes, and a scar going over his left eye. But the most distinctive thing was the mask he wore. The man never took the damn thing off, and just switched masks to suit his missions. When civilians asked about it, he usually told some lie about having the flu and not wanting it to spread. Which was bullshit, because Kakashi was the healthiest man Sakura had ever met.

She glared at the man himself, who was sitting on the bench across from her, his head leaned back against the wall of the train car with his arms crossed. His chest was rising slowly and his eyes were closed, but you could never tell if he was actually asleep. The man was a deceptively light sleeper.

Sakura sighed and reorganized all of her teammates' files and put them away in Kakashi's leather briefcase by his feet.

She stretched and looked around the car. Sai was sitting next to Kakashi, his head resting on the older man's shoulder. Naruto was sprawled out on the seat next to Sakura, his limbs hanging off the ends. Sakura tucked his blanket back over him and patted his chest.

Naruto had been her constant after Sasuke abandoned their organization to chase his brother. It had shaken the whole company, and Tsunade had been livid. We had to change all the codes, passwords, and reorganize the confidential files. It had been a paperwork nightmare.

But Sasuke's abandonment had hit his old team the hardest. Kakashi blamed himself, and had quit teaching altogether. He had always favored the solemn boy, to the point where he almost neglected the others. This was still a sore subject that no one had brought up.

Because of that, Sakura and Naruto had sunk themselves into their respective specialized training. They had become the best in their fields, Sakura with medicine and Naruto with combat. It had also pulled them closer together, and they became best friends. Sakura tutored Naruto so he could pass the written portions of his final exam, and he helped keep Sakura sane during her medical certification exams. Without the other, they both wouldn't have come as far as they did. And they owed some of that determination to Sasuke.

Sakukra shook her head, purposely avoiding thinking about the Uchiha.

She got up carefully and left the train car. Once in the hallway, she walked towards where she knew the bathrooms would be. Technically the mission hadn't started yet, or else she'd have to tell Kakashi whenever she left the group. So Sakura was going to enjoy her independence while she could for these last few hours.

Once in the bathroom, Sakura looked into the dirty mirror. She was so glad they were letting her keep her hair color for this mission. Usually the mission required her to wear a wig to cover up her unusual hair color, but college students have abnormal hair colors so they let her slide.

Sakura pulled out her phone and sent a text off to Ino, making sure everything was okay back home. Sakura didn't get placed on a lot of away missions so she got nervous about leaving Ino alone at the apartment. The blonde had a tendency to throw parties that would leave their rooms trashed. It was getting ridiculous.

Ino sent back a selfie- it was her and some friends having glasses of wine. The room seemed fine, with some extra dog hair from Akamaru but that came with having Kiba over. The boy himself sat with his arm around Ino and Hinata. They all looked happy, and Sakura smiled.

She brushed her teeth and put her hair up. Her reflection caught her eye, her dark circles standing out in the fluorescent lights. Sakura thought she looked 34, not 19. Stress had aged her. Frustrated, she left the bathroom and went back to her teammates.

Nothing had changed, except Kakashi's eyes were open. He glared at Sakura as she crept in.

"You should have told me you left." he said softly, being careful not to wake the boy sleeping on his shoulder.

"Mission hasn't started yet." Sakura shot back, and Kakashi frowned.

Sakura sat back down on her bench and gently pulled Naruto's head onto her lap. She started playing with the blonde's hair and his snoring stopped, replaced with a content sigh.

"Finally." muttered Sai and Kakashi hummed his agreement.

* * *

 _A/N: So I went to the National Spy museum in Washington DC and got inspired for this story. I did some research on different tactics, and the "Aunt Minnie" was the inspiration for the mission. ("Aunt Minnie"s being spies posing as tourists so they could gain information and take photos from important locations in an inconspicuous way)_


	2. Chapter 2

The visual transformation from professional secret agents to average college students was jarring. Sakura had only been with Naruto outside of the agency, so she was used to civilian clothes. Seeing Sai outside of the company issued uniform was too strange to handle.

Naruto was in charge of talking to locals and gathering oral information, so he wore a hidden microphone that would record everything once it was turned on. He was dressed in an orange flannel, black t-shirt, jeans and red converse. The boy liked his bright colors. It was a constant concern from customers that Naruto was too flashy, but his results usually shut them up.

Sai was in charge of photographing whatever they saw, and organizing the pictures based on location and relevancy. His ability to blend in to his surroundings was going to work wonders for their surveillance. Sai was wearing black shorts, and a black shirt that showed off his toned stomach. He also wore a red camera bag, disguised as a backpack.

Sakura had on a red sleeveless button up, tucked into some white shorts. She also had a messenger bag containing a notebook and a pencil, for writing down observations. This was originally assigned to Naruto but he would get too distracted to actually write anything down. Kakashi had discreetly asked Sakura to switch assignments with Naruto, and she had quickly agreed.

"Sweet stomach Sai." Naruto snickered, and Sakura glared at him.

"Thanks, dickless." Sai shot back, shutting Naruto up. The blonde glared at the brunette.

"I think it's cool seeing you in more relaxed clothes." Sakura piped up before Naruto, causing Sai to smile at her.

"Thank you. I agree, it's a nice change of pace from the company uniforms."

The door slid open and in walked Kakashi. He was wearing khaki slacks, a plaid green button up, and a grey sweater over it. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his muscular forearms. Sakura felt her pulse quicken, but she ignored it. Kakashi also wore black-rimmed glasses that helped hide his scar, a medical mask, and his hair had obviously been brushed down, but it was a lost cause.

"You're late!" Naruto groaned. Sakura nodded.

"Sorry, this lady needed help a couple cars over-" Kakashi began, but stopped at Naruto and Sakura's glares. They'd heard it all before. Sai just smiled.

Kakashi clapped his hands and pulled out a map of the city they were going to. There were small, messy notes and times written by marked locations. Kakashi had obviously done his homework.

"Okay! We're staying at this hotel," he pointed out a starred location on the map. "since it's only a couple minutes away from the Federal building. We can only spend an hour or so at the target's location a day to avoid suspicion, so time will be incredibly precious." At this, he looked pointedly at Naruto.

"Why are you looking at me?" The blonde exclaimed, but Sakura smacked the back of his head.

"Because on our last mission you made us miss a dead drop."

"That literally wasn't my fault though. The waitress was taking forever and we couldn't just leave without paying." Naruto said defensively.

"We?" Sai muttered.

"You were the only one eating there, dumbass! We had to come find you!" Sakura yelled, her arm swinging back, but Naruto dodged her punch.

Kakashi caught Sakura's fist before it hit the seat. "We can't have you destroying the train because Naruto is an idiot." Sakura sighed and nodded. The boy in question grumbled quietly, but everyone ignored him.

"Anyways," Kakashi continued "For the rest of our time we can explore the city and talk to locals. They should know about the area. Remember that we need to blend in as much as possible, so please try to act normal. This is all of your first S-ranked missions within a team. I have full confidence that you guys can do this, but please be careful. Its a country none of you have been to before. I have a contact that will meet us at the train station to drive us to the hotel, so we aren't flying in totally blind."

As Kakashi talked, he pointed out marks on the city map. Everyone was paying attention, and Sai was copying the markings onto his own map.

"Any questions?" Kakashi looked at them.

Sakura raised her hand quickly, and Kakashi pointed at her. "Go ahead."

"Why are you wearing khakis?" Sakura asked innocently. Naruto snickered, Sai smirked, and Kakashi's eyebrows flew down.

"I'll have you know this is very fashionable in the teaching world." he said defensively.

"You have never looked more middle-aged than you do right now." Sakura said, and Naruto burst out laughing.

Kakashi flattened his spiky hair self-consciously.

"Then my disguise works." he muttered, purposely ignoring Sakura and Naruto's high five.

"As for code names, when we're in public we'll need to go by alias'. I've assigned them already. Naruto you're going by Noboru, Sakura you're Saki, and Sai you're Shin. I'm going to be Mr. Kazuo. We shouldn't need last names. This area has a different culture, and they usually go by first names only. Got it?"

The younger agents nodded, fake names not being a new concept to them. At their serious expressions, Kakashi smiled. "Don't look so nervous guys, consider this a vacation. A vacation where if you get distracted or mess up, you'll start a war between our nations. But a vacation none-the-less."

Before anyone could respond, the train started slowing down and the conductor announced that they were arriving at their stop. Kakashi clapped his hands together.

"Okay, the pre-briefing is over."

Sai smacked his face at the pun but Kakashi looked pleased with himself.

"The mission officially starts right now. Good luck students. Lets have some fun." The older man said as he grabbed his luggage. The agents followed suit, Sai being extra careful with his 'instrument bag'.

With all of them geared up, Kakashi led them out of the train, and into the new country.

* * *

 _dead drop - a method of espionage tradecraft used to pass items or information between two individuals using a secret location, thus not requiring them to meet directly and thereby maintaining operational security_

 _A/N: I chose the alias names based on the first letter of their original names, and a meaning that somewhat made sense for each person. We won't see them that often, I just feel like if they're stationed in a foreign country and they're all semi-famous then it would be dumb to go by their official names. Especially Kakashi, because he's been around the block a few times._

 _Noboru - Rise/ascend_

 _Saki - Blossom/hope_

 _Shin - Real/genuine_

 _Kazuo - Harmony/Peaceful_


End file.
